The ObamaCare Call Center Phone Number 1-800-F_UCKYO

I could not make this up if I tried…..

With all the recent low drama surrounding the Healthcare.gov website and it’s myriad of problems I wonder aloud if anyone else noticed that the phone number for the Call Center may actually be a bit insulting if you happen to read your keypad while dialing it.

I went online tonight to the website to have a look around to see if I could create an account so I could look at the plans being offered in the State of Illinois. After 3 attempts of creating a username, password, and submitting the 3 security questions like the millions of others who have tried.

I of course was not surprised after the 3rd try that I got the screen with the red banner informing me that I could not create an account at this time. I was instructed that I would probably have to call the Call Center and speak to one of the Reps there in order to continue. I was given the phone number and grabbed my phone.

I mean at this point what is it going to hurt? surely it’s not going to be that bad. I had seen the people on the Cable networks attempt to log in with a clock running with varying stages of success. I resigned myself to the fact that this late at night I could probably talk to somebody. So upon looking at the number I did not think anything much about what it was telling me…..

UNTIL…..

I looked at the number a second time on the keypad.

1-800-318-2596

To anyone else it would seem nothing out of sorts….so if you have stayed this long with me I invite you to just look at a cellphone and the letters that correspond with that phone number. Take into account that the number 1 has no letters associated with it on a telephone keypad….

You see it?

The number translates to…(Drum Roll Please?)…….

1-800-F_UCKYO

Now it could be a coincidence that the number would be laughing at you for trying to get affordable healthcare or maybe one of the boneheads from CGI thought it would be a way of adding their opinion of the whole exercise but I cannot say I was shocked by it. I think it is somewhat fitting that whomever came up with that number was trying to inform you of what was to come (by the way, the odds of randomly generating that number are 1 in 10 million).

Although funny on the surface, it speaks volumes about what type of people we have running the show in the United States these days. Between Jofi Joseph sending random tweets about everything under the sun in the White House to the 1-800-F_UCKYO, I simply have come to the conclusion that anyone in a position of marginal power all the way up to the Executive are a bunch of immature assholes. You have a HHS Secretary that can’t answer a single softball question from CNN, a crashed website, an Administration that can’t seem to get their shit together, a shutdown, a He-said, She-said between Obama and Dick Durbin….the list of moronic behavior by people on BOTH SIDES is disheartening, but not surprising.

Because every single one of them is an immature asshole.

Could It Happen? A Seattle/Denver Super Stoner Bowl 1?

Thinking about the NFL Playoffs recently more than one person has explored the possibility that if indeed everything plays out a certain way, that it very well  may be that the Denver Broncos and the Seattle Seahawks could meet in this year’s Super Bowl. Being that this past November both the states of Washington and Colorado voted to legalize marijuana for recreational use, the obvious stoner jokes are flying everywhere you turn.

Never one to shy away from such matters, I have decided to ask the reader to suspend disbelief for a few minutes as take a look as to what could possibly occur at such an anticipated event……

So without any further adieu, I give you the highlights from Super Stoner Bowl 1.

Super Bowl 47 has finally finished after 2 days and 112 overtime periods with no clear victor in perhaps the most enjoyable sporting contest in American History. 72,003 football fans packed the Louisiana Superdome to witness the event, which had all the potential of a titanic clash between the Denver Broncos and the Seattle Seahawks.

Both teams came into the game very prepared, However from the outset, things went at a snails pace….

Snoop Dog was on hand to entertain the fans with a rousing rendition of the National Anthem. However due to a scheduling error (he was still in his hotel room with his entourage when he was to appear as he was under the impression that the game had already been played) a last second decision to play a video of  Jimi Hendrix’s performance of The Star Spangled Banner on the Jumbotron would have to suffice for the already agitated and paranoid capacity crowd. The player introductions commenced with the players emerging from oversized football helmets in opposite ends of the field. This led to a substantial amount of confusion as the smoke machines were already doing their work. Superdome employees were seen tossing bails of skunk weed into the machines, disorienting both teams. At one point the Broncos had to be led hand in hand to the North end of the field to be reintroduced a total of 9 times as the pall of sweet smoke rose into a giant cloud above the field and the team was simply standing around looking up in awe of the fog that surrounded them.

2 hours later the game began…

Denver began their first drive at the 20 because the ball passed through the hands of returner Trindon Holiday upon kickoff and out of the endzone……where it was then lost. Referees forgot where the other game balls were so it took an additional few minutes for somebody to grab a commemorative ball from the gift shop.

Denver’s first drive began and ended just where it started. Quarterback Peyton Manning struggled to get the Broncos to break huddle as the Offensive lineman were seen giggling and asking Manning over and over: “Ok now…what? Oh, Ok! BREAK!”.

Whereupon they simply got back in the huddle and began giggling again….

A 3 and Out (which took over an hour) led to a 9 yard punt after Britton Colquit shanked the  ball and downed it himself.

Seattle took over and virtually the same thing happened…Quarterback Russell Wilson was about to call an audible on the first play of the drive. The Seahawks received their first of a  record 1006 False Start penalties as Center Max Unger  lifted his ass and blew a Protein Bar-Gatorade fart in Wilson’s face that stopped play immediately.

CBS Field microphones caught the sound of the tremendous blast  and those watching around the world in their homes with their TVs on at high volume were subjected to what was initially though as a bomb going off, with the high pitched scream of Wilson admomishing Unger: “You Nasty Motherfucker!” and the accompanying laughter from players on both sides.

When play resumed, Seattle drove the ball -47 yards, primarily due to a -47 yard scamper by Marshawn Lynch, who ran out of bounds after realizing he was running the wrong way. After a Seattle punt (which landed in the end zone and was lost somewhere just like the kickoff was because nobody could see it sue to the fog in the dome) Denver again had the ball.

Manning actually was able to complete 2 passes on the ensuing drive. One to wide receiver Eric Decker, and a second to an unknown photographer on the sidelines.

The already exasperated and obliterated officiating crew at this point just decided to give Seattle the ball wherever the hell they wanted, because they were “jazzed” about the Seahawk uniforms “with their totally awesome helmets”. Denver Coach John Fox protested vehemently to officials, who told him to “just chill the fuck out, dude”. Seattle opted to take the ball at the Denver 1 yard line.

The first score came with less than 2 minutes left in the first half (the clock had been running the entire time as no one noticed the Official Timekeeper had fallen asleep in the booth after he started the clock in the First Quarter) when Center Max Unger again farted and fell forward across the goal line untouched by the grossed out Broncos on a undesigned center sneak play. There was no point after because there was no point to a point after and both teams refused to line up for one due to the lingering fart “messing with our buzz”. So each team was guided into the locker rooms holding hands and again laughing with Seattle leading 6-0.

CBS frantically tried to recover some semblance of order by running all of their Superbowl ads one after the other. This however presented a problem as the commercial break before  the Halftime show ran another 4 hours. By this time most people at home had either stopped watching and gone to bed, as it was now after midnight on the East Coast.

The Halftime Show finally happened as Beyonce’ came onto the makeshift stage to begin her set. Those in the crowd that had not gone to the bathroom or gotten food or drinks 10 to 12 times previously were non plussed by the end of her first song. Then if by magic she was suddenly replaced on stage by the 4 original members of Black Sabbath whom performed a very dirgy version of “Sweet Leaf” and exited from the field….

As the dawn of the following Monday morning appeared over the New Orleans’ skyline(nobody in the Superdome  knew this as they were either passed out or just lost track of time yet again) both teams finally skipped and playfully danced about out of their locker rooms to start the second half. Both the Broncos and Seahawks players and coaches reeked of weed, had sleep creases on their faces, and resin stains all over their uniforms as they skipped.

The Second Half was delayed as the Refs forgot who had the ball again, and after initially figuring it out decided to give Denver the ball yet again “just because they could”. Denver got the ball this time on the Seattle 1 yard line and mulled around for some time as players began to grab their phones and check their Twitter accounts to see if any of this mess was trending.

It wasn’t…..

Manning then took the ball from the referee and took one step across the goaline to even the score at 6-6. Nobody protested the unusual play because according to CBS  color commentator Phil Simms: “Just fuck it! I’m high, Nance is high, the world is high,  Black Sabbath rocked the house this morning and I fucking LOVE IT!”.

Again the clock had been running the entire time without anyone noticing as the passed out time keeper had been replaced by somebody nobody knew “but may have seen before…somewhere….maybe at a party once…who knows”.

So at the end of regulation, the score was  6-6.

What came next was the first of the 112 overtime periods that went nowhere as neither team could move more than a few feet without laughing, stealing referees’ whistles and admiring their reflections in them, and how their faces  looked “really weird”.

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell finally took charge of the deteriorating situation before the 113th overtime and called an end to the contest as in his words “everybody is just wiped right the hell out and I think a good night’s sleep will do us all some good…wait, what? It’s Tuesday afternoon? Well suck me dry and call me Dusty!”.

Super Bowl 47 ended in a 6-6 tie in the longest football game in history.

The post game press conferences were riddled with questions no one could answer.

Coach  Pete Carroll commented “We had all the confidence in the world coming into this. But it;s hard to execute on the field when your players are pinching each others’ asses in the huddle and giggling like schoolgirls, We really needed to step up but that is difficult at best when your only offensive weapon is your Center who is farting all over the place and not directing your line calls….by the way, Unger’s fart was really our only weapon Today, or yesterday or when ever it happened. I have no idea…sue me!”

Peyton Manning was upset about lack of team discipline.

“You practice over and over to get perfect.  We had hoped to get some positive matchups but we really couldn’t…all the different colors  of the lights, the turf, these play things that Fox was telling us to run…I mean, what is up with that?”

Afroman was named MVP. He did not play, nor was he even there….he was named MVP because he got high.

A new blog (that I would recommend)

http://kiddersteve.wordpress.com/

A friend of mine has a new blog under construction at present but I can assure you that although he and I are more inclined to agree to disagree on certain things, that his intellect and wit have earned my respect. That is high praise coming from me…as one who rarely has respect for anyone….lol

Maybe this will give me the boot in the ass I need to start writing again. I realized how much I miss it. Jesus Paterno is fucking dead and Sandusky has been put in prison since the last time I wrote!

A Pathetic End for Penn State’s Football Legacy…..The Sadness is Just Beginning

Thankfully Penn State officials did one thing right in the handling of the sex scandal…..by firing Joe Paterno after he sheepishly resigned effective after the end of the 2011 season. Officials realized Paterno being on the sidelines for the remaining 4 games of the season would send the wrong message.

I did take the time to read the entire Grand Jury Report concerning the actions of Jerry Sandusky. I am a guy that is rarely rattled by much, but reading this 3 times(I wanted to make sure I was actually reading what I thought I was reading) I was more stunned at the actions of Penn State administration officials in their mishandling of the situiation, whereby allowing the incidents to continue for a decade.

Here is the entire Grand Jury report.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/sports/documents/sandusky-grand-jury-report11052011.html

 

If there is a blueprint for how to pass the buck and look the other way all the way up the ladder, this is it.

What bothers me just as much than the entire situation is the reaction and outpouring of support for Joe Paterno. This guy was the face of the entire university for half a century. To any college football fan, the mention of Penn State brought not a particular player or a past game to mind, but Paterno himself.

He was also instrumental in the coverup of the scandal. Of course the student body showing their displeasure in the streets of State College last night probably had not the time or the inclination to actually read the Grand Jury report, for most kids just lash out for the sake of lashing out.  I can’t begrudge them that…beyond the end of the business day today.  After that, anyone who would  lend him any type of support should be required to read the report.

I can understand the coverup though. Most institutions are more interested in damage control at any cost as opposed to rectifying wrongs done in their name. Look at the Catholic Church….any time some priest gets caught fucking some altar boy in the ass they get moved to a new diocese in hopes that any scandal will leave with them. But all they do is give the priest a new stable of victims..

The story of the Penn State incident mirrors this….rugsweeping, wishing it to go away, lying to invstigators…lying, lying, lying.

It’s obvious officials knew about repeated incidents of sexual abuse by Sandusky for years(Paterno included)….

 

BUT these guys are fundraisers above anything else. Money is Power……Power corrupts…and in this case the corruption went on for a long time in the open and everyone involved did one big “Lah Lah Lah” and closed their eyes and allowed a sexual predator to run amok . They were more concerned with the Penn State brand  than doing the right thing.

 

Hopefully Paterno will also be criminally charged for the coverup. It will be the only way that Penn State can shake this….Legal consequences for all the perpetrators is necessary

 

A Message of Thanks

Moments ago I turned 46 years old. If memory serves me right, by all accounts there is no way I should have ever made it this far. A life of hard living, years of self abuse, self doubt, self destruction. Years with many regrets as to what I have done, and what I have failed to do. Doctors, and friends alike have told me I have overcome practically impossible odds to make it. While that may be the case, it seems like such a long journey.

Many of you who have followed me through the last four years here have seen me live my life out on this blog. It started in 2007 as a way for me to simply put my thoughts down in the new medium. Writing has always been therapeutic for me and I have written about everything under the sun. Politics, life, love, regret, happiness, success, failure. Practically everything I have experienced at some point I have written about. It gives me a way to see into myself that I normally could not. IT has always allowed me to look at myself in times of trouble. Perhaps search for answers to questions I ponder on a continuous basis

Last night I struggled to write something here. I have not struggled like that in years. I began to think about my life, and in these past 45 years if I had accomplished much. As I continued to write I was overcome with a flood of emotion as I sat here on my bed. Looking around I saw what was once a very promising, bright future, a future I once felt I had. So I began to get more and more upset with what I wrote. After nearly 6 hours I looked at what I had worked on and saw nothing more than a disjointed, rambling, sad man. something I would have never envisioned of myself. It is not that anyone put me there…for I put myself there.

If any of you know me you know I wear my heart on my sleeve. I say what I think with wreckless abandon and have a penchant for throwing caution to the wind. Much to my chagrin my interpersonal relationshisps are affected by my writing. I admit I can be careless, foolish, immature, and completely without compassion for people that do love me. I  make no excuses, for my actions are my own. Yes I am ill, and much more ill than I have ever let on to a few people that I love, but it does not excuse my behavior at times. It is a selfish trait in me that has been much more magnified by my illness. However, treating people I love like shit has been a sad cloud over me my entire life. I firmly believe that I at times am incapable of considering someone else, or allowing them to love me. My life has been a series of absolutes, either/or… or… win/lose propositions.

Never shades of gray, although there are so many in life. That shade I always seemed to be colorblind to. As a result I have missed out on a lot. A lot of warmth, and love of my own doing. And for those I have hurt because of it, I can only offer an apology. The list of people is far too long to ever be able to hold in my hand without it being crushed by it’s sheer weight.

The story of my life at times….

 

However there are two persons in particular, two women, whom I have never met in the flesh, or looked into their eyes, that have shown me more love, and given me more chances than anyone should ever be accorded. It is not because I had something on them, nor because I was that special in any way. They simply love me, warts and all…No rhyme or reason. Sometimes people come into our lives at the most opportune of times. And although I have thanked them before, I don’t think I have ever really done either of them the justice of telling them what exactly they mean to me.

And because my health is such that I do not know if I will ever meet them, let alone have a true chance to tell them what they mean to me, I think I shall now. For not saying it and departing without doing so would be the worst thing I could imagine.

So let me do it now…

 

Laurie,

I remember the first time we met, and how that night we laughed and you thought I would chide you or think less of you over Mike Oldfield, and you telling me that you went and saw him as a young girl growing up. I scrambled that night to find a passable copy of “Tubular Bells” to send you. Although it was a terrible introduction on my part I was charmed from that very first night. Our talks about everything under the sun always convinced me that it was such a wise choice to have you as my friend.  When you are down I try my utmost to lift your spirits, as you do mine. You continually let me know in times of trouble what I need to hear, as opposed to what I would like to hear. We have shared some similar experiences in our lives, not always pretty, our lives, are they…..

There have been many times I was a lost soul, and you helped me. I never wanted to admit to anyone else that I was scared, but you held my hand and made me see things as they are. Even when I am a complete boor and would by most standards be impossible to even converse with, you did. Even when I am mean, nasty for no reason other than because I lash out you have always recognized that I was just scared, I don’t think it possible sometimes the synergy I have with you as I think you and I could be apart for years and pick up right where we left off. It is a very hard thing to do with a person like me. I know this. You have breathed common sense into my lungs when no one else could. Saved me more times than I can count, and shown me more compassion than I ever deserved. For that and for everything else you have done for me, I thank you and I love you.

Stephanie,

I could safely say there are a multitude of times in our friendship where we have not seen eye to eye. Regardless what they are or what they have been it will never mean I care for you any less. You know we went months after meeting each other without even exchanging a single word. Had I not sent you that message that night for that MW favor I do not think I would ever be writing this. There are few events that seem so innocuous to the layman but on the whole have such life changing importance as that. There are a lot of things I could say about how I feel. There have been many times we have been apart, and for whatever reason it does not matter any longer. Having you as my friend changed my life. Not many people do that. Not many people are capable of dealing with me at all, and even though you and I have taken breaks we always found each other again. We always will. Of that I have no doubt.

You know no one ever has had quite the effect on me that you have. It is an inescapable fact that no matter what my head tells me my heart tells me how special you are to me. We may never ever lay eyes on each other in life, but you have shown me all my sides, and have lived through all of them. Rarely would someone be subjected to that and still remain my friend. Because when it comes to you I am never neutral. I can say that about no one else. It may be a character flaw to some, but to me it is a part of being friends with you. We have laughed, cried, been angry as hornets at each other….gone long periods of time without speaking. I don’t care where you are in life, I don’t want that to happen again. You are cared for too much by me to do that. We care for each other, simple as that. I thank you also for every moment, happy or sad. Without each of those moments, we would not be where we are today. I will always feel that way. Thank you. And I love you as well

 

I have been blessed by both of these women in different ways, but blessed nonetheless. Both of them would tell you I was probably full of shit when I say I couldn’t live without them, but I would be lying if I said I could. I have an uncertain future at best and both of them have gone out of their way to show me love that no one else even in real life could or would even attempt to.

 

So I will close by saying thank you to both of you for being a huge part of my life. and I love you both very much.

 

 

 

The Facebook “I have lost my sense of humor” Syndrome

Well I promised you I would write a blog at some point since I have not been keeping up and I do apologize. I have not had a lot to write about but something did catch my eye today as one of my friends on Facebook posted a status that to most people would be funny, if a bit sarcastic. However as usual, being that most people do rise to their level of emotional and intellectual incompetence on the internet, and on social networking sites in particular a little humor is bound to offend someone…lol

 

So where do I start?

 

Ok…so this afternoon one of my friends posts a status that on the surface would be as innocuous as can be. I mean with all the crap people post trying to make themselves seem more exciting, witty, or desirable than they are in real life, I didn’t think anything of it. Most people are self absorbed at the 500 Million person popularity contest called Facebook, and that’s ok. It is the nature of the beast itself. It is part of being HUMAN! I mean unless you are  an automaton you see this stuff every hour of every day from every corner of your friends list. Who the fuck wants to see the same hum drum stuff everyday? Not I!

Anyway my friend, who is a lovely young lady posts the following:

REMOVE ME IF ….YOU ARE NOT A TRUE FRIEND, IF YOU DON’T PLAY MAFIA WARS…OR IF YOU’RE JUST PLAIN UGLY.THANKS ! APPRECIATE IT.

Taken in the context it was written, it was most likely meant in the spirit of humor. She can be a bit sarcastic at times, but can’t we all? Let us all remember that there is no way on Earth any of us can have 5000 friends(the current Facebook limit) let alone have 50 people we can truly call our friends. It is simply impossible.

At first, the responses were funny. Everyone, save a few, actually understood the humor behind it and she got a wide range of responses, anywhere from playfully expressing fealty to self deprecating humor(which I excel in, in case you have not read my body of work on this blog). As it progressed the responses did get funnier and funnier, as the line between Offenders and Offended became clear. A few of us decided to just run with it and write whatever came to mind. Some of it Laugh Out Loud funny, some of it just matter of fact. Towards the end, however, a few people expressed displeasure with the status as if it was an ultimatum to resign their post as Grand Poobah of the Water Buffalo Lodge on the Flintstones! To see those people offended and scurry away as if they lost a Spouse was just another reason that so many people are woefully unprepared to exist on social networking sites.

Like anything else( a Sunday Sermon, a Hotel Ballroom Motivational Speech or a fucking Narcotics Anonymous meeting), we as humans should always consider the context something is written in or delivered to us, and take what applies to us, and discard the rest if it does not apply. To take such things as this Facebook status seriously means that indeed in the electronic age we have lost our sense of humor. It is so easy to be offended because we are always looking for a reason to be. If that was not the case, Al Sharpton, nor Bill O’Reilly would have work.

And I would never write blogs…..

Most of us are so self absorbed and consider ourselves perfect that we can’t possibly imagine that something like that status was intended for anything or anyone other than us personally. It is truly a  major drawback of social networking and of the internet in general, for we can never truly grasp tone through text.

Listen if anyone of you are friends with me on Facebook you know I write some very odd stuff from time to time. I enjoy making people laugh, but part of the deal is that some people will and usually are offended to some degree. It goes with the territory and I make no apologies for anything I write and I am certain my friend would not either. I write what I write because it is what comes out of my head. And if some people are offended then I may not be the right friend for them…

I just had somebody comment on a 3 year old entry I made this evening pointing thier finger at me and admonishing me and the best ammunition they could come up with was calling me the dreaded “L Word” (Liberal). I submit that if that is the best you can come up with you have not read my entire body of work…lol. Let’s be honest, my political writing is all over the board because I am a true political thinker, and understand that above all else that all political ideologies are ambiguous to each other and there are way more similarities than differences. But of course you have to be able to be a critical thinker, and just like a Facebook Status or a Narcotics Anonymous meeting, take what you need and discard the rest. So now since I am rambling…lol

Look, people will be offended for two reasons mainly

1) Because They Can

and

2) Because they want to.

(An aside here….I point that finger of taking things too seriously at MYSELF as much as anyone else, and have been extremely guilty of it in the past, so I am far from perfect)

At any rate, and for whatever reason, we as a planet have really lost our sense of humor.  Kind of reminds me of the early 1990’s when everyone was ass deep in buzzwords and phrases, most prevalent was “Political correctness”.   Maybe a bad analogy but no one can seem to take a joke anymore. I hate that, and in reality you should too. So for those that were offended by the status for whatever reason, I hope you understand that if you took it personally, and internalized it as such, you really should not. I think all of us want to have a good time, so let us all remind ourselves that while we are all human, that the world revolves around the sun, and not us individually. That unless we are called out by name on some Status on Facebook, we should take that status in the context it was written. If you can’t then I suggest you go to mental Health Professional, and declare that you have lost your sense of humor. For I did some time back, and it did help me. After months and months of telling my therapist I lost my sense of humor and receiving intensive treatment for it, he turned to me and and said “No Habla English”.

 

 

 

 

Clicking For Dummies 101….Mafia Wars

So this afternoon after looking out through my window and deciding against going out as the Midwest has begun to become yet again blustery and the first few flakes mark the opening salvos for what promises to be a bombardment of Winter Weather here, I decided that what better way to spend my Saturday afternoon than to go over to the trusty old Devil’s Daughter, Facebook and be a poor sucker like 15 million other socially stunted shut-ins and play Mafia Wars.
Ahh…Mafia Wars….where everyone with a computer and an imaginary axe to grind can while away the hours and fight other socially stunted people for imaginary cash, imaginary fame and fortune, and above all….imaginary respect. 

So logging on this morning was nothing different…The creator of Mafia Wars, Zynga, has got a pretty damn good hustle going. The addictive nature of online gaming on social sites such as Facebook lends itself quite well to this Game…As opposed to those who would believe that the game itself is just for nerds, stoners, and bored, fat, Bon Bon gobbling housewives, surprisingly enough the Lion’s share of those that do play are normal, supposedly well-adjusted people. I do not fall into that category (if you have read this blog very often you know I am far from a well-adjusted individual)….But I digress…

As I was going about my usual activities on FB today I noticed again what has become a pretty common occurrence due to Mafia Wars. This fall Zynga added some extra bells and whistles to the game, whereby giving the user much more things to do. Whether it is attempting to complete missions posted by friends, or gather a seemingly endless array of useless items to receive an award, Zynga had single-handedly appealed to every human being’s base emotion. And that is the need to be accepted by society at large.

Looking at my news feed and seeing the endless stream of missions people were posting in hopes of getting some reward I sensed a rather mounting frustration among players, generally because they were not getting their missions completed by their friends fast enough. Since these missions were introduced, I have also noticed just how infantile we adults can all be….I mean surely we must stop and wonder if there is not a more productive way to spend our time?

Of course not

Because Zynga’s allure is that they provide a service(generally free, but many people sink literally THOUSANDS of dollars into their imaginary Mafia Life) but that service is such a distraction from all of us getting on with our real lives that I just had to sit there for a moment reading the feeds and I became suddenly very sad. Sad because as much as I rail here against what I see in other people, I am no better at all. I play incessantly, for hours at a time, and also belong to a Mafia Wars Clan that spreads all over the world(Most of the members of my clan come from  Asia, but some clans have “divisions” located in North America, The European Union, and also other parts of Asia, to name a few) and sadly there are times like today that I came to the realization that apparently we are all in need of something in our lives, or we would not dedicate so much time to playing this game.

I spent an hour clicking on friends’ reward posts today…literally nonstop. I was clicking so fast I did not even notice that I had a lit cigarette in my hand. As I continued to click for each imaginary reward, the cigarette came closer to burning my fingers but I was so entranced by the game I did not notice it until the heat burned my hand and my reaction from the burn sent the Camel flying through the air and onto my mattress, and burning a huge fucking hole in it before I could smother it.

I wonder how many other people this has happened to, for I can’t be the only one?

Has it become that just like during the Depression of the 1930’s, when people flocked in droves to movie theaters to watch the likes of Cagney, Laurel & Hardy, or Buster Keaton to escape the realities of the real world, that so many of us have chosen, rather than to do something productive, to click away at a “Mission” with imaginary treasure awaiting us in hopes that will alleviate whatever demon lay outside our front door…i.e. reality? I am lucky to be well off and secure, but I am not immune to it either…I will be the first to admit that. And there are droves of people far worse off than I who can probably ill afford to pay for internet service, let alone spend hour upon hours chasing this Internet Dragon.

So as I looked at my burnt finger, swearing at it, and looking at my computer, I simply thought what a pack of complete fools we all are….

We of course are all responsible adults, capable of making wise choices, but seemingly we have given ourselves over to a Monster Dealer who only feeds us nickel bags of cut Heroin, MW being that Heroin. we can’t get enough of it…none of use who play it. It turns us into a pack of wolves, Not giving a fuck about anything else but getting those imaginary rewards, getting a higher level or a little stronger for our next icing…..We have sold our souls for a Social Site Game that on the surface purports to be enjoyable but has relegated us to intellectual cannibalism….

Where is the social part of that?

The Dollar Bill of Broken Dreams….Reissue from 2007

I actually deleted this post by accident some months ago but found that I reposted it on Myspace so I wanted to repost this because of my current station in life.
This post was very important to me because I always thought this was some of my best writing. I was dealing with a lot of shit three years ago as many of you will remember and it was about the time I wrote this that life took some unfriendly turns.

THE DOLLAR BILL OF BROKEN
DREAMS

Category: Life

Long ago, when I was still young, I had a dollar bill that I
used to doodle on. I used to do a lot of doodling when I would sit at
the bars in Chicago, Amsterdam,or wherever I was. I’m not an artist in
any sense of the word, other than my suspect writing ability I really
dont have an artistic bone in my body.
I would doodle  as I looked off into space, daydreaming about
things. Maybe write something on it to remind me of how I felt.  I would
doodle if something caught my eye:
A pretty girl walking down the street…..  the beauty that
passes by in an instant(by the time you wonder who they are they are
gone) 
Perhaps a  scene from
life that goes on outside our own sphere of influence,  a scene that we
only can observe but never interact with.  
Words that may help explain myself at some future time. 
Ever the observant one, I once was.
These bills I used to keep as reminders of things that had
passed by my field of vision. I kept some of them in my wallet if I
thought one had particular significance. Maybe something that would
either come up to rear it’s ugly head in the future, or give me
reassurance that my path was true. I remember being in a particular good
mood one evening some years ago while I was watching Dr.
Strangelove: Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.
During the last underground bunker scene Peter Sellers leaps from his
wheel chair and exclaims "Mein Fuhrer! I can walk!".  That night I drew
those words over a one dollar bill. After doing so I was embarrased. I
actually tried passing the bill off at bars, upside down as a tip. That
damn bill would always make its way back to me. Every time I tried to
get rid of it the damn thing would find itself back in my hand. No one
wanted that damn thing, least of all me. 
That one thankfully is long gone as I finally passed it off at
a bar that was having a Grand Opening, and I taped it to the wall next
to all the wishes of good luck.
One evening an even much longer time ago, during a time that I
was going through some major upheaval in my life I remember sitting
drowning my sorrows in some dive in Amsterdam. This was days long before
the Euro, and the standard form of currency in The Netherlands of
course was the Guilder. I had been carrying around some Yank money as
well as Guilders because of the exchange rate being so good at the time.
I was in Europe trying to forget everything that was going on in my
life. I was looking out the window of this place while everybody was
talking over fairly loud music, all in different languages. The music
playing at that moment of time was a song from Uriah Heep entitled Circle
of Hands. A lyric that jumped out at me from that song was "Today
is only Yesterday’s Tommorow". I remember that at the time it summed up
what I was feeling. I remember that what it really meant to me was that I
should never look too far off into the future. What’s past is past. To
try to focus on what is really important to me.
I wrote that lyric on a one dollar bill that I had because all
the available Dutch Money I had was in coins. They did not have a one
Guilder note in circulation. I put it in my wallet that night and over
the years would stumble acoss it on occasion. Strangely enough at times
when I felt uncertain about what the future would hold the bill would
reappear as if by design to remind me that there were great times for me
ahead as long as I didnt lose sight.
I always said to myself that that was the Dollar Bill from Days
of Broken Dreams coming back to give me a reality check. I havent seen
that Bill in a long time. As a matter of fact, I had actually forgotten
about it.
This morning I was
doing Laundry.  I wasnt in a great mood. Quitting smoking stress of the
first day.
Somber,
maybe. Melancholy for some reason. Missing my friends, old and
especially new ones.
 At the
same time I was going through some of my old stuff in some boxes I had
stored at Lumpy’s and had made several trips to Chicago to retrieve the
past few months. I was going through a box that I had no idea of what it
contained. Some books, pictures of some of my friends from days gone
by, and a small sleeve that I had for some reason kept. It was an old
boarding pass from KLM when I had returned to the US. I looked at it and
was about to pitch it when I decided to open the sleeve.
After many years, my reminder of that night in Amsterdam
fluttered through space and onto my floor. I could not believe it! I
picked it up and stood there for some time, looking at it. The words
looked back up at me. 
Memories
of a time when things were different and I got through it.
The message is as clear to me now as it was then. I’m looking
forward to the future.
But
not too far forward.

Kate Gosselin Celebrates Hitler’s Birthday by being voted off Dancing with The Stars”!!!

Late news this evening that Kate Gosselin was kicked off "Dancing With The Stars" was celebrated by throngs of Angry American TV viewers who wondered in unison as to how the hell this trainwreck survived this long.

GrimmReality has discovered that the deciding vote indeed came from HELL, and that vote came from the Birthday Boy Himself, none other than the former Fuhrer and Chancellor of the Greater German Reich, Adolf Hitler.

Earlier this evening I spoke to Hitler via satellite after he had returned from having a dozen Oranges shoved up his ass by Bing Crosby, who was still convinced that his contract with Minute Maid had not run out  and was looking for a new angle to hawk the tasty product in the Nether Regions.

A short transcript from that interview…

GrimmReality: "So, welcome, Mein Fuhrer and may I extend to you a happy birthday…well not a happy one but you know what I mean."

Adolf Hitler:  "Thank you, Grimm. I must say at the outset that I am not a big fan of yours, since you make too many jokes about me at bars and restaurants(I’m watching you with my CC TV all the time, Grimm),but only agreed to this interview because Joseph McCarthy was not available. Frankly, he smells a lot like whiskey and feet and and I know although you can’t smell that up there on Earth, the heat down here makes it intolerable with all the sweating."

GR: So please tell me; obviously you have been watching the show this season and you mustered up enough of your negative energy to see to it that she was bounced. How did you do it?"

AH: ";Have you SEEN HER WALTZ? Rubbish! Have you seen her Cha-Cha? Providence was being so cruel to humanity. Even in my quest to rid the planet of the Untermensch I had not seen such awful movement in a woman since Geli Raubal was running away from me when I shot her in Munich! all that "Herky-Jerky nonsense! She obviously is a communist as only those robotic movements of her gave her away that she had obviously come out of a time machine after being educated through the Komsomol!! You ever see those little Slavs sway with the Baskets of Flowers on May Day? She is a scourge upon Western Civilization and I had to make sure she never took  ANY PRIZE!"

GR: " I take it that you were pulling for someone else?"

AH: " Pamela Anderson! She would be a great choice with her Aryan stock to win the trophy and bring me back from the abyss to repopulate the Earth with our vision"!

GR: "Uh , Sir? She is a Canadian"

AH: "SILENCE! HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY JUDGEMENT?"

GR: ‘Well you know that whole sideshow in the Balkans and Greece totally screwed your invasion timetable for the Soviet Union even after Keitel told you that it would be a two months delay and that you may not reach the far interior before November. Plus what was up with that whole England thing? The running joke here all these years later is that you didn’t have the balls to…"

AH: "I SAID SILENCE, YOU FOOL" EITHER WE DISCUSS THAT MONSTER KATE GOSSELIN OR THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER"!!!!

GR: "Ok, Ok, Ok!! You got me on a roll…I digress. At any rate, what made you finally point your icy finger of destruction up to the world and get her booted"?

AH: I was watching every week and I couldn’t take it anymore. That Actor from "All My Children" had all the promise in the world. we could have used him. Yes he wasn’t German but thats beside the point. The Judges were being manipulated by these Stupid, Stupid Americans who know nothing about hard work and struggle." Then the other night as Idi Amin was rubbing my feet in the theater we began to watch ‘Frankenstein". Idi noticed that Boris Karloff was moving JUST LIKE HER!!! My head began to explode in pain like artillery shells being dropped on my Bunker. Even when he killed the old man and stumbled out of the Hamlet he looked exactly like what I have witnessed this whole season. It was Titanic and Horrid… KATE GOSSELIN HAD TO BE STOPPED. So I called ABC and they changed the votes and I had her extricated from the premises at once.!"

GR: " I find this all a bit unconvincing, I mean how could you just get on the phone and…."

AH: "SILENCE!!! I AM DER FUHRER AND I AND ONLY I DECIDE!!! THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER!! Come on Bing, Lets’ go watch "White Christmas again and have that fool Nixon make hand shadows between reels".

As Hitler got up and the link was cut off, I detected that Bing Crosby patted Hitler on the ass with his pipe and before the mic was cut off quipped …..

MMMM BA BA BA BOOOO!!!! and was holding a bag of oranges that appeared to have shit stains on them.

Frankly I think even though Kate Gosselin got the axe, I happened upon an even bigger shocker:

Bing Crosby and Adolf Hitler in romantic relationship!!!

Massachusetts to Democrats: DROP DEAD!

While I will not rehash what we already know tonights election results mean(Healthcare Reform basically dead for now) what we witnessed tonight was a repudiation of democrats taking people for granted and not understanding the one basic rule of politics:

People vote with their wallets.

Sadly the euphoria that has been taking place on the left(and it’s ever increasing puke fest at MSNBC) has fallen on deaf ears.

I don’t like to say "I told you so", but the Dems dropped the ball all year in trying to decide what was important to us. All the while hoping that the "New Camelot" would surface for air as the common man continues to drown.

I guess what really put in perspective(for me anyway) just how completely out of touch the Democrats are became as clear as day when I saw on Monday that MSNBC was going to place almost its entire coverage on one Senate election when in fact the typical news viewer has been gripped by what was going on in Haiti. Not to mention the absolute awful leadership that the United States has  shown in the relief efforts. I’m sorry but you have got to risk some injury and even some rioting in an effort to gert fiood to a hungry nation before worrying about putting military boots on the ground. The response has been sad. When Israel can fly in two 747’s with a full compliment of mobile Hopitals and support staff in two days from 5000 miles away and we can’t seem to get seem to get anything off the Tarmac in Port au Prince but Hillary Clinton’s fat ass for a press conference from 700 miles away. something is fucking wronmg with this picture.

Thats all I will say about Haiti other than while the Major News Organizations (CNN, BBC) were and remain outstanding in their coverage of the carnage and real time efforts to report the disaster, The NBC Anchor Team has remained for the most part at the airport with their standard dockers and button down shirts on looking like they are scared to see a hungry person…I find their coverage of the whole thing terrible.

It harkens back to  just what kind of people are currently taking us all for granted. The fact that The Dems had to keep this seat and pissed it away is a testament to their arrogance. Arrogance once reserved for the Republicans. I would have been more than happy to give them the benefit of the doubt, as skeptical as I am, but they have wated any political capital they had and have blown their good will for the midterm elections.

As a result if this, the Dems are going to take a beating in the midterms, Obama looks like a one term President after 12 months in office and his propaganda arm (MSNBC) is a clueless as ever. The coverage from whatever bar they are at in Boston just shows what a lame lineup of softballers they are. The keep pushing the crawl at the bottom of the screen that the election result was a stunning upset in a Blue State. TO WHO? When you take people for granted they tend to get pissed off. When you talk over their heads with certainty about something to people who are out of work,m the get pissed off. when you play people for fools, they get angry.

I mean come on, how more pedantic can it be when you have Maddow ande Matthews in a bar with sweaters on. That is about as alien a concept to theiose two as you can get.

right down the line…from Howard Dean to Keith Olbermann….You weren’t fooling anyone. You all made a concerted effort to tell us what we needed instead of asking us, and it bit you in the ass.